Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize