You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
