i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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