I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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