so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
