Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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