Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
