But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
