Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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