Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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