Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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