I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
