Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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