The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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