I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am naked and annoyed.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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