i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
