Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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