I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
