meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
pray to the hookup gods
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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