i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
