I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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