tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
