I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
