Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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