Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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