Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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