Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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