What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
