you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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