We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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