Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize