you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize