I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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