Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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