I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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