Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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