if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
