so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
