guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm always down for nudity.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
