U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
