There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
