if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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