Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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