Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
