we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
