..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
