This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
