It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
did i just pee glitter
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize