I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
