I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
