i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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