there was a trapeze. enough said
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
