i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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