It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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