apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
