im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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