Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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