I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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