I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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