The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
