you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I checked into jail on foursquare
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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