so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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