Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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