Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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