I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
