im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
